That is having your cake and eating it too, little man

Max was invited to a party at which he would be the only boy. Since the primary role of parents, after buying groceries, is messing shit up, I said, “Wow, you’ll be the only boy, huh? How you feeling about that?”

Max: What?

Me: Are you ok being the only boy?

Max: Why?

Me: Oh, uh, no reason. So, E. (the birthday girl) is a good friend of yours?

Max: Oh, definitely.

Me:  You play together?

Max: Dad [implied by tone of voice: Dad, you’re the dumbest person ever. Who cares about the things you’re asking about?], no, of course not.

Me: But you’re going to her party, and she didn’t invite any other boys, so you must do something together

Max: It’s going to be great! We’re watching a movie and we get to eat in front of the TV! [To Max, this is absolutely the holy grail of a Big Night]

Me: But you don’t play with E.?

Max: No, of course we don’t play. She doesn’t like playing.

Me: So how are you friends?

Max: [long, patient, condescending – without meaning to be, which is even more condescending – sigh] Because. We have conversations.

Me: Oh, of course. About what?

Max: Dad, what do you think?

Me: Honestly, I have no idea, Max.

Max: What else would we talk about? Sports, dad. We talk about sports.

Tell it, Little Man.

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