As I scour the educational landscape for people who want to give us money to set up new schools, I wind up writing a lot of beg letters. I’ve noticed that a certain sentence always wants to creep into the closing, and I’ve decided to do my best to stamp it out. That sentence is, “If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at the number below,” or some equally stupid variation.

If I didn’t write this, I am sure the foundations of America would sit around saying, “Damn, I really want to send them $500,000, and all I need to know is how big the school is going to be, but, you know, I feel sort of funny calling the guy and asking. He’s probably busy.”

Look closely at your e-mails, my friends. You use this awful sentence, too. Together we can make it go away. Join me.

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